The Metropolis of Pak Beng - Mekong slow boat sin city.

Welcome to Pak Beng!

There was no sign to say that, it comes straight from me.

The town is a small stopover on the river for the infamous Mekong Slow Boat.
This was my third trip to Pak Beng so I'm obviously some sort of masochist.
The town itself is located on a picturesque bend in the river and is a welcome sight at the end of a gruelling boat trip.
On this occasion we travelled upstream against the current.
Our progress was like a salmon with cancer trying to jump out of a bath, but eventually we made it.
A further 20 minutes saw our driver squeezing our boat in between those already moored, with the help of some bamboo poles and a lot of running on the part of the boat boys

 Pak Beng was a tad gloomy this time around, and nature celebrated our arrival in grand fashion, opening
the skies to greet us with a sullen deluge and to wash the streets clean of any remaining hope or optimism.

This sign was not exactly true. Hive bar was not the only place in town serving beer, but they did have the advantage of offering a glass with it, a chair and some adjacent tables.
We checked into the small stilt homes opposite the Indian Restaurant.
The place was close, private and overlooking the river, a majestic view following a very short walk.
we dropped our bags inside and paid the cash.
Both of us were sticky and grimy with the blood, sweat and tears of a 9 hour adventure up the churning waters of Upper Laos and proceeded to remove clothing in readiness for a much needed shower.
From memory, it was around this time that the power died, and the whole of Pak Beng and surrounding jungle fell into a still, quiet, dark eeriness that led us to our balcony and some twilight views of the river, the only thing still visible.

My better half waited for 10 minutes then struggled against the odds and positioned a torch in the bathroom, washing with cold water as I relaxed on the verandah, taking in the sights and sounds.
I felt a little guilty, but not guilty enough to move.
She emerged wrapped in a towel, and the electricity returned moments later, thus signalling that by divine right, I, Chef Shane should take my turn sluicing the debris from my crevices under hot water, with the lights on.
I smiled, but not enough to earn me a good slapping.

Washed and ready to face the world again, we discussed our options in the culinary capital of Pak Beng.
We decided to head into 'town' about 400 metres away and got ourselves ready.
It rained again. Heavily.
We decided to go across the road to the Indian Restaurant instead. Mistake.
Not being tripadvisor addicts, we didn't write that place up, but if there are more than 2 others guests waiting, go somewhere else.
The Naan Bread was the worst I have ever experienced and the food took forever.
They did, however, chill the bottle of NZ Sauv Blanc that we bought, and served it to us in the smallest wine glasses I have ever seen. More on that on the naan bread links.
Below is the Pic of Pak Beng town.
It is pretty tiny and has plenty of accommodation options in all budgets.
Most are cheap.
From the cheap ones around $5 you can choose between bed bugs, spinal damage, mould, dirty linen, or an exciting cocktail of all the above.
From $15 onwards you can get something decent.
The food in Pak Beng is interesting if you are not forced to consume it.
The best option is definitely barbecue - great quality, cooking and variety.
Unfortunately, may of Pak Beng businesses feel the need to give the customer what they want, which is where it all comes undone.
The croissants could start wars, and the baguette is a travesty.
We witnessed young male travellers bite into a baguette 'sandwich' and then hold it up, peel it apart, inspect the contents (and lack of dressing/butter/spread) and then debate in serious, lowered tones.
Anyhow, this is the Cityscape photo of Pak Beng.

Next we have the humble stall.

The street is lined with them in the mornings in the hope that hungry and disgruntled travellers will purchase these items as sustenance for the voyage ahead.

Many will. 

Hungry and waiting for breakfast, we consider the cocktail list (or is it a personal column?)

The White Russian is a popular choice, but following the Lorena Bobbit incident we were wondering if the "Bloody Marry" may make for a more exciting holiday.

These guys below come down every morning to receive alms. I am wondering if they actually pray or chant for an improvement in the bread and pastry quality.

The monks are a nice reminder that one is in Laos, and they do add a lot of colour to the town.

All in all, a nice wee town, but if you stay there, get some nice digs for the night.
It won't cost much and it will make all the difference.
For food, eat early and eat local - it will be the best experience.
Coffee - only nescafe. Bugger!
The Indian restaurant - don't do it.
Get a place with a river view - stay up late, get up early.
The town runs on tourism - boat arrive from 3pm and go until 9am. For a really surreal visit, stay an extra day and see the place implode when the boats go.

General info about the slow boat:
Slow boat is around $35 from Thailand for boat only from Houay Xai (Thai Border) to Luang Prabang
Cost is around $65 from Luang Prabang to Chiang Mai including boats, accom in Houay Xai, mini bus, transfer.
Thailand to Luang Prabang is down stream (with the current)
Luang Prabang to Houay Xai is upstream (against the current)
You'll get in to Pak Beng on sunset going upstream, and an hour or 2 before going the other way.
No need to buy cushions now - the slow boats have contoured soft chairs.
Cold beer, tea, coffee, softdrinks on board. Bring anything else.
The boat leaves at 8am to 9.30am in the morning from all 3 places - Houay Xai, Pak Beng & Luang Prabang.
It takes 6-8 hours each day over 2 days to go from Thailand to Luang Prabang (or back) by slow boat.
The speedboat takes just 6 hours but is fast, noisy, more dangerous and you need to cover up from sun and spray (which stings at high speed). You'll end up rattled and jolted.
Vietnam Airlines fly to Luang Prabang and Chiang Mai from Hanoi and Saigon. Easy to plan a circular trip.
Luang Prabang airport has direct flights to Siem Reap.

Our trip was:
Flying Vietnam Airlines: Danang to Hanoi, then Hanoi to Luang Prabang.
Slow Boat Luang Prabang to Houay Xai.
30 baht boat across the river, Houay Xai to Chiang Khong Thailand.
Mini bus at 10.30am from Chiang Khong to Chiang Mai.
Flight on Air Asia from Chiang Mai to Bangkok.
Vietnam Airlines from Bangkok to Saigon to Da Nang.

Please ask if you have any questions on the slow boat.
It's my third time up and down, so happy to share anything I've learned, for better or worse.
Travel stuff will be posted here and my food & cooking related stuff on http://www.chef-a-gogo.com